Day 15/16. A Room with A View

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Photo by Robert V (@3rd. night)

Day 15 & 16 of 27

Today the phrase “your home is where your heart is” is my topic of self conversation.

As I get closer and closer to the end of this experiment of daily postings about my observations, thoughts, emotions, opinions, and ideas; this phrase came up and it’s the only thing that seemed important for me to talk about.

I’m the daughter of an expat American woman who grew up in a small town in western Massachusetts; but spent most of her adult life (45 years to be exact) in Athens, Greece; and a Greek man born in Athens, who despite all his protests has moved between Greece and the United states twice. I’m the amalgam of one true roamer and one homebody (nope it’s not my mum). I have moved house 20 times since I was born, and have moved and lived in Athens, Western Massachusetts, London, upstate New York, New York City, London, Athens, Mykonos and again New York. (if you’re not dizzy; I am!)

What comes to mind is a phrase in Greek which loosely translates to “the land you live in now, is your homeland). “Όπου γης και πατρίς” which is originally attributed to the politician and orator Cicero. This encapsulates the whole way in which I’ve navigated my travels and my many “homes”.

Πατρίδα-in Greek means homeland (fatherland to be more precise); the place where you were born; which is very different from Χώρα-Chora or country (also referring to the village/the countryside) which can be seen as a place of residence or nationality. In recent years I’ve seen myself as a nomad with no country, no homeland and no place to call home. I come from Greece, I was born there, I lived there most of my life, but as of now it is no longer my home.  I no longer have a family home that I grew up in, I don’t have a bedroom with all my childhood memories. I carry that childhood, and those memories with me wherever I go. I’m somewhat of an exile, having chosen to leave my home in Greece, and come to New York “for a better life”; and not really wanting to. As most exiles I feel uprooted, and this idea of connection to where I now live is quite frail.

This fragility of course does not come without a better understanding of oneself in connection to identity and belonging. A house is just a roof over our heads, but a home is where we feel comforted, protected, familiar, and at peace. I’ll bring two more Greek words to the mix to show the complexity of meaning and feeling.

οικία (oikia)– means house or home

οικεία (oikeia) — means familiar or something you find comforting

For now my house is in New York City, but it does not feel like my home, so the heart keeps roaming, and if my life is any indication of a pattern, it will roam again.

So when you close the door to your home tonight make sure that you feel at home, comforted and safe.

So… Where do you feel most at home?

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Day 14. Motivation

Day 14 of 27

What gets us up in the morning? What excites us and motivates us to keep going even when times are tough and life gets in our way? I’ve been pondering motivation, inspiration and what keeps me going, especially during these very unmotivated winter months. There are things that I want to and strive to do every day, in order to keep going, keep creating and keep moving forward towards my goals. These things may vary for each of us but for me; these are my top three.

  1. Exercise/ Yoga/ and Meditation– This has been one of the top on my list ever since I was a young dancer. Movement, exercise, mind body connection keeps me going through very tough mental, emotional and spiritual difficulties. We all face our proverbial mountain of shit, we all deal with worry and stress and unfortunate circumstances, but I have an escape, a release and a way to let go of what my body can hold on to at any given moment. The release and comfort I feel when I practice yoga, meditation and dance all stems from the satisfaction that if all else fails I have my body and mind intact.
  2. Writing/ Creating and Art– My movement and dance performance days may not be what they were when I was younger, but I have moved my passion for expression in space, to expression on the page. It always seemed to be a part of my life. I either moved my emotions and expressed myself through movement or I wrote about it, and as of late writing has become an integral part of my daily, weekly and yearly contribution to something artistic.                                                                                    (One day I’m going to publish a book — I promise!)
  3. I am a yoga teacher and a massage therapist (feel free to book me any time!) and what I love doing more than anything is helping others find their bodies mend, get stronger and spread their wings. In every aspect of my life I’ve been seen and described as a healer, by others who knew more than I. I have never called myself that and I can’t say when this came about, but if I am going to be useful I would rather be able to serve these practices at the best of my ability and guide others to their self healing. This gives me great satisfaction and purpose.
  4. This is a bonus extra motivation… If I’m able to help another person become unburdened by their situation in some way big or small; this gives me further motivation to be more aware of other people’s needs and desires in connection to my own.

What what keeps you inspired ?

What is your motivation?

Day 13. Friendship

Post 13 of 27– Friendship

Today I’m in a sour mood because I hear the word friend and friendship being tossed around a lot lately, by people who either are not understanding the parameters of friendship or abuse its meaning. Much like the word love… when overused; it loses its weight, its potency, and its value.

Friendship is a heavy word for me. It encompasses loyalty, commitment, care, sacrifice, love, trust, honesty, and humility. All the ingredients that any real romantic relationship should have minus the sex !  True friends are hard to come by, they are there for you when shit hits the fan, not just to be your fan. They are there for you when you feel dis empowered; not only to show their power. They are there for you when your dreams are bigger then theirs, they don’t look down on your success as their failure. They care for you, even though you are vulnerable and unable to care for yourself. Friendship isn’t a fan club, its not an opportunity for personal advancement or self promotion, its not about dependency. If your friends are only there when they need flattery and sugar coating then they are fair weather friends. We have all seen those.

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Acquaintances I have many, but my friends are the trusted guardians of my heart and soul, even more than a lover or a romantic partner. Friends are my family, my rock. Those who’ve been around are there for lifetimes, and even though we may not see each other every day; we speak every day, on the phone or in a letter or in a picture. There is a deep bond that I share with the people I call my friends. Like soil they are cultivated over time. Like flowers they are cared for and appreciated in the good times and the bad. Like the custodians of my deepest secrets, fears and needs; they guide me when I need their counsel. They have proven their staying power and their worth, as I have done for them. Those friends who didn’t believe in me or cherish my friendship to them didn’t remain friends long.

There is a unwritten rule that defines all friendships and I’m fairly certain any fair weather friend would not stand for long against it. A quote by a motivational speaker I heard recently; is apropos to my rant about friendship today. Friendship is a most sacred bond, it’s a promise, it’s a pact, it’s a connection deeper than any of its kind.

So ask yourself:

“If friendship is the only thing you had to offer, who would still be your friend?” T. Shelton  

Day 12. Nostalgia

Day 12 of 27. What is Nostalgia to you?

When thinking of this feeling of deep longing, I always refer to a specific part of a poem written by the Greek poet C. P Cavafy in 1911.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.
 
And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.
 

 

 

It all starts with a pull. A tug in your heart and mind towards a place that you love, a place that you miss, the aromas that bring you to a certain afternoon with a coffee and the smell of jasmine floating trough the air. It’s the longing for your home; the familiar; the place that we all leave and sometimes take years to go back to. Yet the journey away is far more important than the return. The journey changes you, and even though you cling to images of your past and aromas that make you yearn for the things you miss the most; the journey away from all that you love, can and does change you for the better. Nostalgia is a deep pain that no matter how many places I’ve been, how many trips I take and how many places I’ve lived; it is as strong as the first day I left my home. I look at images of Athens and I just can feel the spring breeze wafting through the eucalyptus tree in my grandmother’s garden at 4pm after a siesta. I remember the feeling of the water after a long summer swim. There is no water like the Mediterranean sea and that is the smell of Nostalgia for me.

Nostos- Longing to return / Going toward the place you love

Algos- The sweet pain of separation from that place.

What does Nostalgia mean to you?

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Day 11. — Two sides

Day 11 of 27. This image was snapped in a private club in New York City. I was invited to a lovely classical music event, with mostly very interesting people. I left feeling I got a small glimpse of the elite high end world of New York, that even now is a thing of legends, stories, fact and fiction. There a very few times in my life that I have come across this secret world of the wealthy and privileged. I don’t say this to be a bad or good thing, just something I know very little about. I thought about what it would feel like to be part of this societal and economic stratum, and I can’t wrap my head around the concept. It somehow doesn’t feel normal to me, yet here it is; alive and well and right next door to us. Two worlds exist in New York more so than any other place I’ve visited; ( ok London may be more extreme in this). And this one struck me as a world stuck in time; unaware of the societal and social changes the rest of us see every day. This world of wealth and privilege seems very isolated and unaware of the rest of the world.

The space I visited exuded isolation and exclusivity in every part of its existence, yet it was absolutely beautiful and captivating to be there. I felt like I was a fly on the wall absorbing this ” other” world and the rules that form it.

I am glad I have the opportunity to see glimpses of this world but at the same time knowing full well that I’m a visitor; staying a short while, only to return to a life I’m enjoying fully.

What do you observe in everyday life that captures your attention ?

Day. 9 Hearts Break-

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Picture by Robert V. (@3rd.night)

Day 9 of 27.

There is something about poetry and spoken word that can’t be expressed in any other way.  This evening I am performing at a gallery, event opening in Brooklyn, and I’m terrified and excited to perform my work. This piece of writing among others is very personal to me. Over the past two years I’ve been doing some open mic performances, and although I’m no stranger to performance and being on stage, spoken word and poetry is something I never had the courage to perform- until now.

 

This is dedicated to the one I love(d).

 

I’M DONE

No you don’t get to fuck me and say there’s a hundred ways to love me and then disappear.

You don’t get to be “friends” when you don’t trust me and fill me with fear.

You don’t get to share my heart and then then tear it apart.

That’s not art.

 

I’m not a pretty girl but at least I’m smart

I have fire and desire and I know how to play the part.

You don’t get to be in my movie and have a cameo role

I want a leading man not a stand in.

I’m not a hole

 

You can’t fuck me when it pleases you.

I told you I’d be there for you and I needed you.

And what did you do?

You got your hand in my pussy and you thought, I’m all for the taking.

but you’re mistaken.

I’m not making this up.

Your times up.

 

I gave YOU my fire, you gave into MY desire and your face lit up.

That’s what’s up.

But you chose to quash it and wash it away as a casualty of your half assed reality.

Bull shit. I call it and you’re full of it.

 

You’re emotionally bankrupt and you’re asking for a loan?

I know I Look like a charity but this is moral depravity

I guess you missed my clarity when I told you it was all or nothing

Your legal tender is of no value here.

 

But since you don’t understand I’m going to tell you once more….

I can’t be seen with a man without a passion for life.

You wanna stay with your half-baked excuses and look for constant muses?

 

When you know there can only be ONE.

And I’m done…

 

Check out more and maybe see a live performance tonight Friday March 9th on Facebook live or Instagram

Visit Image Gallery in Brooklyn. (@imagegallery)

Follow for more updates: @thegreekrabbit 

 

Live performance Clip !

Art and Hustle – Poetry by Eleana S Kouneli 3 – YouTube

 

 

 

Day 8. To be a woman

“Women will save the world, but first they must start by saving themselves.” — DL

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Today is International Women’s Day — Women’s achievements, sacrifice, tenacity, willpower, beauty, and presence is celebrated around the world.

Yes but…. there is a but.

What is lacking in all this celebration of togetherness is the sheer lack of self care that most women give themselves. Over and over women are celebrated by being the healers, the nurturers the caretakers, as of late (only in American Culture) the fighters; the true heroines. More often than not these same women are time and time again put into positions to care for others more than they can care for themselves.

And yet…. there is a yet; women are still abused, by their husbands, boyfriends, fathers, lovers, relatives. Wives and girlfriends are battered in more households across Greece than I care to mention. I’ve heard it with my own to ears. I’ve heard it here, in New York right next to my own home. Because violence physical, verbal and mental; despite this rah rah mentality of celebrating women, still exists.

We, women; are strong, unrelenting in our abilities to do whatever we want to do. And still, yes there is a still; we have to deal with the abuse, the control and the pressure of society to be nice, pretty, agreeable, convincing with our bodies and not our minds and lastly and this is not easy for me to say, become blind of all that has happened and continues to happen to us and get on with it.

I celebrate women, I revere their strength their ability to get things done in the most difficult of circumstances but above all; I celebrate their ability to forgive; love unconditionally, and bring communities together when no one else can. My biggest heroes are not the famous faces; everyone knows them. My heroines are the women in my family; the women I call my sisters, and the women who despite illness, financial difficulty and incredible odds against them; still get shit done. These are the role models that young women need to look up to.

We are the healers, the negotiators the ones who raise families, our own and of others, we are strong, we are survivors, we get up when life throws us down, but we must never forget that in order to heal the world, we must begin with ourselves.

Celebrate women’s day every day.

Day 6 & 7 — Expectations and Failures

Day 6 &7 of 27 Days.

Tonight’s post is a double edged sword if you will. It’s about those two very sharp, dangerous turns we encounter in one way or another in our lives. They may not define us or hinder us from trying again; but they do exist. There is something to be said about having expectations of people. Some of the time they lead to disappointment, some of the time they are met with disapproval, and in most cases they are never realized. Expectations are a set up… a trap that inevitably leads to failure.

Failures on the other hand are a path to growth.  We fail because we try, we fail again and again, and eventually the formula works and we succeed. We fail in a grandiose way because we gave it our all. Success can’t come without a good dose of failure, and a massively determined spirit. Inevitably no matter how hard we try, there is something we will never be good at. And that is where expectation and failure collide.

I am excellent at failure… It’s the success that alludes me, but tenacity I’ve got a plenty.

Cheers!

photo credit : Robert V ( Instagram @3rd.night)

Athens– A city of history and change.

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Athens isn’t what you would call a beautiful city or even a picturesque one. A friend described it as a place where someone threw a bag of Legos and wherever they landed that’s how Athens was built and developed after the second world war. This huge uncontrollable expanse of cement, metal and marble is a basin engulfed by 4 mountain ranges. Parnitha, Penteli,Hemetos and Egaleo. Except for the Parthenon, Mount Lycabettous, and the Panathenaic Stadium (Kallimarmaron) there aren’t distinct recognizable features in its landscape that define it like other sprawling metropoles.

Athens is an ugly modern city. built around on the glory of ancient wonder.

What Athens has that other cities in the world don’t is its ability to constantly renew itself and reinvent its story. This does not stem of capricious artistry but because of necessity. Ever since the second world war, Athens has been a city of change, tumult and pathos. It’s an experimental, dramatic place filled with history and constant change.

Fluctuating Governments, Regimes, Geo-Political importance, invasions, occupations, war and turmoil. Its streets are paved over layers upon layers of history. Every building quite literally stands over ancient cities and past glory. At every turn there is an ancient site tucked between the cacophony of 1950’s chaotic rebuilding post WWII.

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View of downtown Athens

Despite its misfortunes, Athens is a grand, triumphant city taking its name after its most powerful female symbol. The city is dedicated to the goddess Athena, she rains over this basin as a goddess spawned from fierce strength and magnificence. The Virgin Goddess (Athena Parthenos) protects our city, and you can feel her presence looming over the polis every night as the Parthenon lights up over the night sky.

Like every one of its citizens, its loud, nosy, loving, boisterous , nostalgic, hospitable, suspicious, dirty, and mystical. You will come to this city a stranger and you leave a friend. Its not an easy friendship mind you; it will demand a lot of you, but its a deep and genuine lasting friendship that will be there for your through the hardest of times. She is a city that has been battered, used, taken advantage of again and again but still has life to give and love to share for those who are willing to look beyond the scars and the misfortunes.

In 2010 the economic crisis started to bear down on the soul of this beautiful city goddess. This was one wound too many for some neighborhoods. I saw once vibrant street corners turn into drug infested sewers, I saw its people live in fear of their neighbors and let the mistrust and anger brewing around them seep into their daily lives. Yet despite the destruction, the riots,  and the strikes that crippled our city for the past eight harrowing years, it’s people and most importantly it’s young people are starting to find ways to bring sunlight into even the darkest spots.

New Life built on the shadows of the crisis.

New businesses are being created, replacing once empty neighborhoods with bars restaurants and cafes. New companies are being founded with innovation from forward thinking Greeks, who left, the country for years at a time, and came back, with renewed courage to give back to the city they love.

These changes are not with out their set backs of course. The crisis still looms heavy on every day living but instead of giving in to the roller coaster crippling economy that has been Greece’s reality, Greek entrepreneurs and business owners have learned to adapt with the times. Etsy and online stores are now replacing physical storefronts which are expensive to maintain and don’t draw the foot traffic they once did. Yes we all are very weary when stores that have been in the center of Athens since the late 1800’s close, but innovation has to take place in order for new blood to enter a ill fated city.

Online business is on the rise, as crippling capital controls are still in place, but have allowed for more online commerce to develop. Greeks and specifically Athenians have long been trained in loopholes, and this is no exception. Old abandoned houses are being transformed and given new life as hip cocktail bars and gourmet restaurants. Greeks although strapped for cash themselves have found a way to work outside the localized economic restrictions and build businesses that are not only successful but profitable as well.

Just underneath Philopapou Hill in Petralona what was once a working class neighborhood in the 1950’s has now become a gathering place for new restaurants, and bars. Old taverns that were only frequented by the locals are now a destination spot for people who don’t live near these neighborhoods. I witnessed the beginning stages of this transformation starting in 2010 when I still lived in Athens. Beautiful neoclassical buildings are transformed, and transported to a time and place that has no historical reference and recreates these streets from the beginning.

The northern suburbs of Athens are also getting their taste of new glory days; with local restaurants and bars choosing to set up shop in smaller venues there rather than take their business in more prevalent or central neighborhoods in Athens. Off the tourist beaten path, these neighborhoods are usually strangers to foreign visitors so they keep their authenticity and are loyal to their patrons are they are to them.

Chalandri, Cholargos, Kifissia, Marousi, Agia Paraskevi to name a few are the northern neighborhoods receiving a fresh spotlight after their initial heyday in the 80’s and 90’s.

Even more “working class” and immigrant neighborhoods such as Ilion, Nea Smyrni, and Egaleo are reinventing themselves in their own unique way.

The under represented and often overlooked jewel of Athens in my opinion has always been Piraeus. Its a busy, dirty, port with overly antithetical ideas about itself. In the 30’s and 40’s part of it was a very upper class neighborhood, next to a sprawling lower class and immigrant population constantly coming in from Asia Minor and the northern outskirts of the Greek villages.  Many families who had shipping or trade businesses would live and work there. One of them being my grandmother and her 3 siblings. The northern suburbs now considered upper class, were all but non existent, and only for “summer vacations”  of the wealthy Athenians, seeking refuse from the overcrowding Athenian metropolis.

                                                                         Philopapou Hill in the early 1800’s and 1900’s

Pireaus on the other hand was and is for many a separate entity of Athens set apart for its glory and Academic centers, Pireaus was a city of the people and by the people. Its like no other part of Athens. The residents call themselves Pireotes before they would ever call themselves Athenians. And I can completely understand their pride and camaraderie to their neighborhood.

This is true for other neighborhoods in Athens, as they are slowly revamping, reinventing, renewing their re-imagined surroundings.

Athens is always forever struggling with the city that it once was, and now slowly growing into the city that it will be. Its Renaissance comes with many growing pains and crises of identity yet I’ve always had faith in this crazy lego-land built on the ruins of ancient civilization. This faith is born not because Athens is the  home I was born in, but has become the home that I’ve grown as a person, as a woman, as a friend as a professional, with countless others who worked hard and made it their home too. We are not Europe and I hope that one day we realize that and define this city with its own colors.

For more information about the places you’ve seen here — Get on a plane and visit!

Day 5. Embrace

Post and Day 5/27.

Embrace

What’s in an embrace?

What comfort and beauty lies beneath receiving a warm embrace even from a stranger? How can we comfort and be comforted without saying a single word?

This universal gesture that is common in so many cultures. This simple act of sharing kindness, camaraderie, love, lust, friendship, caring and unity. Who do you embrace in your life? What do you share where no words are needed? How do you embrace Life, love, challenges and all that comes with it?

I remember those times when I needed it the most, those who truly cared gave me the embrace and shelter I needed from the storms of life. It’s a port of protection, it’s a showing of a connection beyond words. In Greece we kiss on each cheek with mast strangers but we embrace with fire and love those who mean the most to us. It’s a closeness one cannot dismiss or take lightly. Tonight embrace those you love even if that person is only you.

Who will you embrace with all your heart?