A lesson in self reflection.
The general consensus in psychology is that if an opinion or matter of fact statement is voiced in a manner that entangles or blames others in some way; it has more to do with the person speaking it rather than the intended recipients. Also known as projection.
The definition of Projection from Merriam Webster dictionary :
the attribution of one’s own ideas, feelings, or attitudes to other people or to objects especially: the externalization of blame, guilt, or responsibility as a defense against anxiety.
or more directly :
The act of throwing or thrusting forward
Setting aside what we consider to be the text book definition of projection. We’ve all done it.
We’ve all projected, thrust, and thrown our shit on to other people. As a lifelong yoga practitioner I like to pride myself on the idea of non attachment for as long as I’ve been on the mat. But let’s be honest. Despite all good intentions NOT projecting our insecurities and problems on to others, is simply an uphill battle. I’m willing to and fight everyday to check in, course correct and set aside my ego but like many of us, sometimes I can’t help it. We all want to think that we’re unique and the only ones with the feelings we have, but ultimately whenever we blame others or project our issues on them; it’s a poorly disguised unresolved, unrelenting, stinky pile of our personal crap. AKA YOUR SHIT.
We’ve all done it.
When projection gets in the way of a constructive conversation, especially online, we have a far more brutal and disjointed environment to deal with. Yet we have seen it again and again, otherwise seemingly with it people who appear to have it together; who advertise perfect lives, abundant in wisdom and introspection; resorting to name-calling, shaming, blaming, self victimization, and throwing fits while lashing out at others. It’s hardly a solution. And in all honestly its an easy forum. Over frustrated people who can’t deal with their own problems, lash out with any given or taken chance at any “threat” to their insecurity. Ultimately thinking they have made examples of themselves in their perfection while criticizing others for their own inability to create meaningful change in their lives.
YET. We’ve ALL done it. (at least once)
What this observation boils down to is this:
Before pointing fingers, burning bridges and playing a never ending blame game of how everyone else is broken, crazy, tethered at the seams, and problematic because things didn’t go our way; Let’s look at each encounter with some compassion and understanding.
We all need to take a step back. check ourselves and truly see how we project our personal crap to the world.