Category: Uncategorized

Achilles Heel-(Αχίλλειος Πτέρνα) – Greek Version

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Καθρέπτες αντανακλούν σκοτεινά πρόσωπα που χάθηκαν σε απομονωμένες γωνίες και πονεμένες καρδιές

Ξεσκεπάζουν μυστικά και άβολες ματιές και χαμένες ευκαιρίες

Χείλη σφιχτά και κλεμμένες… τρομαγμένες ματιές

Κουρασμένα βλέμματα χάνονται σε φωτεινές οθόνες, εκτρέπουν, αποφεύγουν, απορρίπτουν.

Παίζουν το ρόλο ξανά σε μια παράσταση που κανείς δεν θέλει να δει.

Και το μόνο που βγαίνει είναι μια άφωνη κραυγή.

***

Πως μετράς μιαν αγάπη που σκίστηκε στα δύο;

Δημιουργήσαμε μια ιστορία που κατασπαράζεται με τη πρώτη ευκαιρία

Είναι ξεκάθαρο ότι σκόνταψα σε μια φαντασία

Ξανά.

***

Δε δέχομαι άντρα σε τιμή ευκαιρίας.

Δεν ακροβατώ πια μεταξύ φθοράς και αφθαρσίας

Μπροστά στην μετριότητα δεν στέκει το τέλειο αλλά η ουσία.

Δεν δίνω πια σημασία σε αυτά.

Πόσο θα αντάλλαζες τη βόλεψη σου για μιαν αγάπη αληθινή;

Μάλλον δε θα μάθεις ποτέ.

Η απορία παραμένει στεγνή.

 

My mother’s hands

I love caring for my mother’s hands.

Those hands that lifted me when I was a child, the same hands that held mine when I was a young girl of 6 or 7, the same hands that held my fathers when he was recovering from surgery, the same hands that held me after my illnesses and rough times.

My mother’s hands are not dainty or “pretty” but they are strong and handsome. My mother’s hands have carried heavy loads and caressed my hair whenever I needed it. My mother’s hands are not delicate, they are warm and firm and loving.

She grabs my hand when I am unsafe and holds my hand when I need comfort. Every chance I get, I hold my mother’s hands. Her hands reassure me and lead me in the right direction.

I love caring for my mother’s hands, and secretly hope that mine will be just as accomplished and strong as hers.

I see my mother’s hands in my own, as I see her mother’s in hers. The cycle continues and connects us all.

 

 

Day 23-25. Wanderlust

Looking out the window at the world passing by…I’m sitting on a train traveling from Paris to London on a trip that I had been planning for three months for a birthday gift. This need for travel has been a part of my life since I was very young.

The first time I boarded a plane I was three months old, my mother took me from Greece to the United States for the first time in 1978 to meet my American grandmother.

Ever since that first plane ride traveling has been my greatest joy. Planning, mapping out the trip, gathering ideas of where to go and what to see is like a story that is waiting to be written. Each page filled with mystery and adventure. These two cities hold some of my fondest childhood memories; visiting them feels like coming home. The people I come to visit are some of my oldest friends; people who I have shared many stories, many years and many memories with.

Travel is not only a way to see the world but also a way to see ourselves in it. We are reminded that we are not just citizens of our country of origin but citizens of the world. Connecting with people in London and Paris this eve of my 40th birthday reminds me of how travel to places known and unknown has shaped my life in ways that no school and no book could ever do.

Travel is my drug and the skies my natural high.

What’s your next destination ?

Day 13. Friendship

Post 13 of 27– Friendship

Today I’m in a sour mood because I hear the word friend and friendship being tossed around a lot lately, by people who either are not understanding the parameters of friendship or abuse its meaning. Much like the word love… when overused; it loses its weight, its potency, and its value.

Friendship is a heavy word for me. It encompasses loyalty, commitment, care, sacrifice, love, trust, honesty, and humility. All the ingredients that any real romantic relationship should have minus the sex !  True friends are hard to come by, they are there for you when shit hits the fan, not just to be your fan. They are there for you when you feel dis empowered; not only to show their power. They are there for you when your dreams are bigger then theirs, they don’t look down on your success as their failure. They care for you, even though you are vulnerable and unable to care for yourself. Friendship isn’t a fan club, its not an opportunity for personal advancement or self promotion, its not about dependency. If your friends are only there when they need flattery and sugar coating then they are fair weather friends. We have all seen those.

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Acquaintances I have many, but my friends are the trusted guardians of my heart and soul, even more than a lover or a romantic partner. Friends are my family, my rock. Those who’ve been around are there for lifetimes, and even though we may not see each other every day; we speak every day, on the phone or in a letter or in a picture. There is a deep bond that I share with the people I call my friends. Like soil they are cultivated over time. Like flowers they are cared for and appreciated in the good times and the bad. Like the custodians of my deepest secrets, fears and needs; they guide me when I need their counsel. They have proven their staying power and their worth, as I have done for them. Those friends who didn’t believe in me or cherish my friendship to them didn’t remain friends long.

There is a unwritten rule that defines all friendships and I’m fairly certain any fair weather friend would not stand for long against it. A quote by a motivational speaker I heard recently; is apropos to my rant about friendship today. Friendship is a most sacred bond, it’s a promise, it’s a pact, it’s a connection deeper than any of its kind.

So ask yourself:

“If friendship is the only thing you had to offer, who would still be your friend?” T. Shelton  

Day 8. To be a woman

“Women will save the world, but first they must start by saving themselves.” — DL

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Today is International Women’s Day — Women’s achievements, sacrifice, tenacity, willpower, beauty, and presence is celebrated around the world.

Yes but…. there is a but.

What is lacking in all this celebration of togetherness is the sheer lack of self care that most women give themselves. Over and over women are celebrated by being the healers, the nurturers the caretakers, as of late (only in American Culture) the fighters; the true heroines. More often than not these same women are time and time again put into positions to care for others more than they can care for themselves.

And yet…. there is a yet; women are still abused, by their husbands, boyfriends, fathers, lovers, relatives. Wives and girlfriends are battered in more households across Greece than I care to mention. I’ve heard it with my own to ears. I’ve heard it here, in New York right next to my own home. Because violence physical, verbal and mental; despite this rah rah mentality of celebrating women, still exists.

We, women; are strong, unrelenting in our abilities to do whatever we want to do. And still, yes there is a still; we have to deal with the abuse, the control and the pressure of society to be nice, pretty, agreeable, convincing with our bodies and not our minds and lastly and this is not easy for me to say, become blind of all that has happened and continues to happen to us and get on with it.

I celebrate women, I revere their strength their ability to get things done in the most difficult of circumstances but above all; I celebrate their ability to forgive; love unconditionally, and bring communities together when no one else can. My biggest heroes are not the famous faces; everyone knows them. My heroines are the women in my family; the women I call my sisters, and the women who despite illness, financial difficulty and incredible odds against them; still get shit done. These are the role models that young women need to look up to.

We are the healers, the negotiators the ones who raise families, our own and of others, we are strong, we are survivors, we get up when life throws us down, but we must never forget that in order to heal the world, we must begin with ourselves.

Celebrate women’s day every day.

Day 4 — Passports

Post 4 of 27.

What’s in a Passport?

What is a passport but a doorway for freedom, and a way to go wherever you can and want to go. It’s an opportunity and a way to see the world. It’s a chance to broaden your horizons.

I’ve been blessed to be born in one country but given two passports, two nationalities, two identities, two ways of life, often conflicting and opposing each other. I am a Greek with an American mind. An American with a Greek soul. I was always asked which one I preferred the most ever since I was a little girl.

I have a sense of belonging, identity and a way to see the world that very few have. It’s also difficult to defend both in my heart and mind. Passports have given me the opportunity, the gift and the privilege to see the world, to travel and to be influenced by many different cultures. I have lived in many places and continue to want to explore more of the world. I belong to no country and I hold all identities as my own. I’ve adapted to different cultures and had the immense luck to call many places my home.

Home is where the heart is they say; and I’ve had many homes in my heart, but as Odysseus completed his journey to Ithaca, no matter how long he was away and how many lands he saw; his home was where his longing was fulfilled. He spent years apart from his homeland only eager with renewed passion to return.

My home is everywhere and no where. And one day I will return to the home in my heart.

What does a passport mean to you?

Day 3 —Memories

On this third day of my 27 day posting project I’m looking into my memory bank. What are we but a collection of memories ? What are we but a gathering of our stories and other people’s stories of us ? What are we but the story we build for ourselves ?

I think often of the stories that people tell about their lives, the lives they have lived and the memories they hold close; to comfort them when they need it the most. I am often looking at old pictures of myself, my other lives; my childhood in Greece, my teenage years in the U.S, my adult years in London and back in Greece, and now my present life. It’s all a scrap book, for the next chapter to be written. Yet I find myself clinging to memories, my memories of my grandmother cooking in my old house in Athens, my American grandmother watching television with her saltines and peanut butter, my Greek grandfather and his brother playing backgammon on the balcony of his home on a warm summer night. The first time I saw snow on a trip to Austria with my parents when I was five, and my insistence of carrying it home back with me to Greece; my first taste of culinary greatness at a restaurant at Place Dophine in Paris, my first kiss….

I often think of how it would be if things turned out differently with the man I loved but who didn’t love me back.

Memories haunt us, comfort us, remind us where we’ve been and where we are going.

What are your memories ?

L.O.V.E – 10 things

This is a flash posting for all you lovers out there. It’s Feb 14th and for whatever reason this constructed holiday brings a lot of people to a depressed state, but not me. I have found that it reaffirms my belief in the things, the people, and the places I love. It shows me that whatever brings me joy,  also strengthens the love I have to share with others. I don’t need a red rose or a chocolate heart to tell me that,  and certainly not one single day. So here is my list of 10 things I absolutely love… What is love for you?

 

  • Travel– I love traveling. It makes my heart feel full, my mind expand and my horizons broaden. Whenever I get to travel and see old and new places it makes me happy, content, complete and reunited with those I love around the globe.
  • Sunsets– Yes the Romantic in me loves them, and every chance I get to see one it makes me smile, take in the beauty of this world and reconnect with nature
  • Daybreak– Even better than sunsets are the first hours of each day. I love the colours of the sun rise; the possibility and joy they bring to each day and when those colors are bursting out of the sky,  it’s immaculate and beguiling as anything else I can possibly think of.
  • Friends-  Yes I love them more than life itself. They bring me joy, they comfort me in sorrow, they keep me grounded, they love me as I am, and in no other way. They give me love when I need it the most, and they share the best and the worst. They lend a hand when I feel lost, they laugh at me when I’m silly and stupid, and cry with me with I feel like shit. Friendship is as sacred as all the gold in the world and I would not trade it for anything.
  • Family– my mother and father. They are the backbone and the anchor of my existence. They let me fly and grab my hand when I fly too close to the sun ( Ikaros beware!) I have learned patience, humility, perseverance and gratitude and I’ve also learned from their mistakes. They are not perfect and no one is, but they let me see their imperfections and for that I love them more.
  • Springtime in any part of the world- In the depth of winter when were all depressed and needing more sun, spring brings such joy at the end of a harsh winter season… flowers, aromas and colors come to life. No wonder the ancient Greeks dedicated the myth of Persephone and her return to her mother Demetra upon being abducted by Hades the god of the underworld.
  • Cooking– I grew up in a household where food was a conversation starter, a party focus and the star of a family gathering. Cooking has become the connective tissue between my time here in New York, my traveling around the world and my home in Greece. Food speaks, it connects, it builds relationships and cooking for others is my greatest joy.
  • Reading- A good book, poetry, an article that will enrich my knowledge a letter from a friend. (that last one is probably my most favorite)
  • Music- I’ve made music lists in the past but there is always a song, a melody a verse in my head. I wake up to music, I fall asleep to it, I drive with music, I cook with music, I write with music. Music is my mistress, my companion and my friend.
  • ART.  I kept this for last… because its a multi part last item on my list. Art with a capital A and all that, that entails. I grew up as a dancer so movement and dance is my biggest love, but visual, performing, architecture, film, writing, and anything that can be placed under this category is one of my biggest loves. In this last category I will include some of my favorite artists who inspire me and make me want to be a better artist.
  • Ohad Naharin— One of my favorite choreographers of all time
  • Edgar Degas– Yes the one the only. His paintings and sculptures of dancers were my constant inspiration as a young dancer.
  • Kiki Dimoula– Greek poet. Her work is haunting, loving, laconic, and deeper than any other poet of her generation.
  • Zaha Hadid– Architect and an incredible artist. She constantly broke all boundaries in art and design.
  • Marina Abramović – she is an incredible performance artist who time and time again has challenged her audiences, the status quo and the performing arts world.
  • Os Gemeos– Brazilian street artists who have painted murals all over the world. Incredible talent and beauty!
  • Ino- Is a Greek street artist who has become renowned all over the world. His art is haunting, inspired, classical, modern and everything in between. Check him out!

What of L.O.V.E?  Love is everywhere, unbound, immeasurable and abundant. It’s not just in a card or a bouquet of flowers, but in everything that we choose to do. It is our navigating system, our driving force our medicine, our pain, our connection to every other person on this planet. For what are we without Love?

Happy love days everyone. 

 

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New York Play List 2018

Music is my companion, on the streets, the platforms the rides home these past four years, in NYC. During my commutes and travels,  I’ve listened to more music than ever before. Like many other New Yorkers, I usually am in a train, a platform, or in transit for at least 3-6 hours of my day, which lends itself to a lot of time on my own, so I wanted to put together a typical listening day along with some interesting new reading I’ve picked up on.

I break the daily, inspirations, conversations and acoustic journeys into a three part suite. This list is a precursor to a future blog post which focuses a short story around a specific composer but no further teasers!

For now let’s say this is my typical musical 24 hours.

Morning  (5:30-9:00am)

I tend to want o wake up with fire in my belly as I either wake up to a yoga session, a workout session or a Daybreaker event early in the day.

I L.O.V.E mornings I’m a morning person, I love morning workouts,  I like morning sex (ok sorry way too much information) but you get the point. Because of 20 years of Yoga training, I’ve had to wake up from 4am to 5:30 am for most of my adult life, so instead of hating it I embrace the dawn. I have more pictures of sunrises than sunsets in every place I’ve lived in. Morning is my time to reflect, gather my thoughts, plan for the day and write unencumbered by other activities.

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I am listening to a lot of Prince again (yes again forever until I die) and the New Tove Lo album, Chemical Brothers (yes my clubber background will never die!)  plus some old and the new Tribe Called Quest albums, as well as one of my favorite online Greek radio stations En Lefko for morning inspiration. (They play an eclectic mix of old school blues, hip hop, modern synth pop, electronica and jazz— yes no kidding) so what they play I absolutely love in the A.M.

Afternoons during the week I need to keep my mind busy and occupied with lovely rhythms so I don’t lose my concentration. When I get to have a break I put on something that reminds me of a calm free afternoon walking around the city. Recently my afternoon playlists are comprised of a mix of

Everything But the Girl– (nothing to be said here they are part of my early clubbing years and I love them!) Lead Singer Tracey Thorn is by far one of the most beautiful female vocalists I’ve heard.

Roisin Murphy– (from her Moloko years to her solo Albums- she is an amazing artist)

Zaz– French singer extraordinaire with a mix of Jazz and rock to her songs.

There are a couple of Greek artists that I have grown to absolutely love… old and new here is a taste of their music

Marina Satti- Is a Greek/ Sudanese singer who is absolutely amazing and talented

Her version of Tha Spaso Koupes is one of my favorites.

Imam Baildi– A multi ethnic, multi musical genre band who sample a lot of old time blues Greek songs from the the 40’s in their modern sound. Their live performances are incredibly engaging! — Take a listen 🙂

Evenings are my most creative and immersed in my music loves. I go in tangents on one evening where I need some inspiration to voice what I’m thinking of or feeling or just to relax and enjoy a whole album.

So here are five artists I’m currently mulling over

Ella Eyre-– British pop musician but with the voice better than Byonce could ever imagine (sorry… I just really dig her rock/chick and ballad singer persona) plus she’s 23 years old and incredibly talented and has enormous depth and maturity to her voice.

Faithless & Massive Attack – If you grew up in the 90’s -early 2000 in Europe, this was something that you could not avoid. I love these amazing artists for very different reasons. When my mind is racing and I need to dance I put on Faithless but when I need to mellow out I go straight for Massive Attack every single time. They are quite possibly the most iconic Electronica, Club, You name it they’ve played it band of this era. Their sampling is amazing and their singers and performers are one of kind.

Amy Winehouse– Her short career was so dense and incredibly fraut with pain and art, she is one of my favorite go to vocalists. Her song Valerie, produced by Marc Ronson,  catapulted her to stardom just before her very bright and rogue start burned out.

When I’m alone in the kitchen I quite frequently sing this song when I’m cooking 🙂

Nina Simone– She is, was and will always be one of my favorite musical influences. Her voice is poetic, pained and beautiful. Her lyrics and music unparalleled and her piano playing some of the best. She need no further introductions…. hail to the Queen.

Reading List for 2018

Notes on a Foreign Country: An American Abroad in a Post-American World– Suzy Hansen

Christ Recrucified- Nikos Kazantzakis

Good Booty: Love and Sex, Black and White, Body and Soul in American Music– Ann Powers 

Buppies, B-boys, Baps, And Bohos: Notes On Post-soul Black Culture– Nelson George

and lastly….

Poetry lots of it but that’s for another blog post 🙂

 

 

Happy Reading and Listening in 2018!

 

 

FIVE

November 30th, 2017  23.57

(Military Time– Yes that’s how it should be written)

I’m sitting in my beautiful living room in my pajamas and a cup of tea… and I have to take pause and give thanks.

d19902528d21bcf06fa43ccfc4e89cf1-art-deco-typography-typography-design.jpgYou see, today marks the beginning of my fifth year in New York. It’s technically tomorrow December 1st, the day I actually arrived in the airport and set foot in the city for the first time to live since October 2000 when I left to study in London. For all intensive purposes my mind and my life changed on November 30th, 2012. It was the beginning of a different life. A Life I had no control over, and would not know its future or what direction it would go.

 

I still don’t know.

One thing is for certain, this fifth year has begun with a realization of how grateful I am for all the changes, the upsets, the doubt, the anger, the tears, the laughter, and the joy that I have felt these past five years. I have learned more about myself in these five years in New York than in any previous stretch of my life. I started to grow up here. I have become more of a woman than ever before, and I have shed and embraced  my girlish self.

There are many other anniversaries on this day that are also an integral part of who I am and who I will choose to be in the future.

Today also marks the fifth anniversary of this crazy idea of my amazing friend Karen (an American living in Greece), had; that I write and chronicle my adventures in New York City.  I’ve grown as yoga teacher, a traveler, a Greek who has an American mother and Greek father, a Greek who has an American Life and a Greek heart. Five years of a personal diary, turned blog, turned heart and life opening confessional, and a place where love, lust, secret desires hidden in poetry, spoken word and life truths maintain their home.

I am starting this next year with the realization that I’ve made many wrong turns, many mistakes but also have met some amazing people full of heart and soul. I have reconnected with my friends in Greece in ways that are so hard to express, and also wonderful to experience. My dear friends have become my family every time I return to Greece. I have also had the honor to meet some incredible people here, through my community at Daybreaker and also fell in love, had my heart broken, fell in love again, had my life turned upside down and learned life lessons that have shaped how I see the world.

I am truly blessed because I navigate with a compass that is composed of my heart and soul and desire for new and wonderful experiences. Despite the rising tides, storms and harsh winds, this journey was and continues to be one of absolute deep connection to my own true self.

These anniversaries continue and so is my commitment to writing about my adventures and observations about my New York. This city has done its best to chew me up and spit me out, yet I’m still here so I love this saucy minx. (sorry lady liberty)

Recently I was blessed to meet and walk the streets of New York with incredible people who’s heart and soul is connected and interwoven with the dirty, passionate, loving, chaotic and proud streets of the Lower East Side, East Harlem and Williamsburg. These amazing people have opened their hearts and lives to me and I feel so honored to have seen the city through their eyes. I am hardly a native New Yorker, but after my newest project took form (stay tuned! for future blog posts) I feel a little closer to this city and its people. Thank you to Jerry and Jonathan and Nandini who have given me small and large moments of their lives here and who took extra care to show me what their hood, their lives and their family has been all about.

In the past five years, friends and family have visited here, shared my passion for dancing, theater, music and food. I’ve learned that no place is more diverse, electric and over the top like this city. Whatever you want to try, experience, and dive into; it’s here for you.

I look forward to the next chapter. The next level of this ever changing ever loving ever breathing organism that is New York.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me and  has seen me through the good times and the very bad. You know who you are and what your presence in my life means to me. Thank you to those who kept reading my poems, my prose my confessions, my deep dark secrets, and my stupid observations of Gotham and its harsh beauty.

Thank you to those who encouraged me to keep writing when all I wanted to do was disappear and let go.

Onward…

Here is my ode to NYC on this fifth anniversary. Baby you’re looking fine…. and I still love you.

I’m in a New York state of Mind… tonight.

Eleana Kouneli– Almost Native New Yorker. Greek with a passion for travel. American with a passion for Greece. Lover of all things food, Yoga and art related. Thanks for your continued love and support!