Category: Growth, development

A New Feminine

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I recently attended a  workshop and discussion on Tantra as a methodology and philosophy. In my 20 years of yoga practice, I am still learning of this vast body of knowledge, of which I have explored very few aspects of.

For any one curious about Tantra, its origins its philosophy and its many offshoots; thousands of books have been written on the matter, some from a Yoga perspective, some from a spiritual practice and of course the more widely talked about and frequently advertised sexual explorations.

The divine feminine/ masculine the transformation of energy and sexual energy into something spiritual is a multi layered and multi faceted subject. It’s not just about sex. My problem with the workshop I attended, and many more that are out there on the philosophy of Tantra; is that most people will reduce this sacred ancient tradition to a new spice in their sexual exploration cabinet.

How do we deeply connect to these concepts without distorting them? How do we show reverence and respect for such traditions without transforming them into sound bites, easy quotes and convenient tricks?

For what seems to be the “the meeting of man and woman; the transformation of energy through sex, love and meditation. ” (Osho) becomes a gimmick and a pick up line.

Tapping into the deeper layers of Shiva and Shakti energy within us, the inner masculine and inner feminine traits take time, and deep devotion. In this fast paced world of instant pleasure, and porn culture, I’m afraid these practices are somewhat lost to most who seek to understand them.

For what modern feminism has sadly become is this man hating, castrating society and then the eventual rise of women in a man made world. Yes women have been oppressed, men have been given some sort of “god given” right to be superior, and the patriarchal societies have been built to oppress that which they come from. Yes all of this is true but what we’ve left out is the third aspect of the union between male and female energy and that is the divine.

Yet we’ve grown up thinking (myself included), that equality means denying our nature, our amazing feminine nature, and distorting it to making women think they are always  inferior and men superior. This way of thinking leaves women with the only choice left to them to even the playing field in this distorted world, and that is “to act” like men… which isn’t the fucking point.

If any one is interested in Reading more about Tantra here is a beginner’s guide :

Tantra Illuminated

Tantra : The Supreme Understanding, OSHO

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10 Things I love about Greek Summer

It’s drawing near… the sun is getting warmer; the skies are bright blue and the air is crisp. Summer is just around the bend. Islands are preparing for the season after a long, harsh lonely winter. The fresh influx of tourists; will bring work and inevitably their income with them. A whole country relies on the summer season to sustain it since tourism is Greece’s biggest ally.

There are plenty of blog posts about summer in Greece. Too many to count, but the side that we locals get to see, the secret side is what keeps us coming back for those precious moments with friends near the sea.

Summer in Greece is not only concentrated on the islands of course; which is sometimes the only thing most visitors either get to or care to see. Athens is not a place to be avoided at all costs. The open air concerts, the festivals, the art, the bars, and the hustle and bustle of the beautiful magical Athenian summer night, can’t be described in words; it must be lived!

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7.30am at Sweet Water Beach in Sfakia- Crete

Here is my list of 10 things that make a Greek summer complete.

  1. Go to the beach early, and stay after sun down — always. (on those rare occasions that you sleep at a beach… wake up at dawn and take refreshing morning swim)
  2. Go with friends, leave with more friends.
  3. Eat at a small tavern, preferably overlooking the sea. Pick the small unassuming places not the ones featured in Conde Nast Traveler (sorry but it’s true).
  4. The secret beaches are usually the best ones.
  5. The secret beaches are the hardest to get to — for that exact same reason.
  6. Leave your fucking mobile phone off and enjoy the sea, dive in, stay in and live in the moment.
  7. Athens by night- The capital at summer time is the most beautiful sight to see especially from above… (I’ve featured a picture of this before but I’m going to do it again since I love this shot taken by a dear friend last summer. 7.b See some art, go to galleries, walk around the city and see some up and coming street artists. Go visit some of the theaters in Athens, and see some wonderful dance and theater at the Athens Festival , or go to a play in the ancient  Greek theater of  Epidaurous . img_3733
  8. Leave your ideas of what you think Greece is at home, and come with an open mind, an open heart and a lot of extra free time, cause we do things slow and at our pace here; so don’t rush us. And above all make sure you see it with the guidance and the eyes of a local. You will miss a lot of you come and leave as a tourist.
  9. Learn to listen… and use all your senses. The deafening sound of cicadas, on a hot summer day, the sound of the breeze at the top of a mountain overlooking the sea, the sound of coerce sand underneath your feet as you walk on the sea shore, the sound of seagulls flying along with you on a sailboat, the crackling of freshly caught fish on a grill, the taste of real sea salt over a sweet ripe tomato.
  10. Last but not least. As much as it pains me to say this, and fight me on this particular part. Mykonos (even though I have a home there) especially between the months of July and August, is not Greece. As much as I love that place, summer transforms it into a virtually unrecognizable version of itself.  It becomes what tourists want in order for the locals to make as much money off it as possible.                                          Way too much of its market, is targeted towards rich tourists with absolutely no love or understanding for the island itself. Mykonos and Santorini are not the only islands of the Aegean. We have over 2600 of them, of which roughly 200 are inhabited! (dare to take a road less traveled). Explore smaller islands, with less amenities or five star hotels, or all in one spa treatments or expensive sailing boat trips or overpriced gourmet meals. Dare to go to places that are quiet, serene and not about how much money you spent on the same hotel that the Kardashians stayed in. Go on a sailboat and find out about the wonder of the Aegean sea through its secret alcoves and abandoned villages. Eat locally, buy from local shopkeepers and find ways to support the local economy.

Greece despite what the tourist, travel and lifestyle magazines tell you, has a lot more to offer than a western experience with a different language. It is a country with rich traditions and hidden treasures. Island hoping as glamorous as it sounds doesn’t benefit most local economies, and leaves the hotel owners richer and the locals much poorer. So if you want to really explore Greece this summer; visit it as a traveler not as a tourist, and you will experience a much richer country than you might think.

 

Words Matter

Des mots faciles des mots fragiles
C’était trop beau

–Paroles Paroles by Alain Delon and Dalida

Choose your words wisely. 

It’s a matter of principle, it’s a matter of how we see the world and how the world sees us. Even though so much of communication is non verbal; choosing the words we use carefully is of utmost importance. There is an art to knowing what to say and how to say it, and if need be not saying anything at all.

Words matter; they can hurt or they can heal. A lot is revealed by their tone, their phrasing their intent. The more I write, the more I share through both Greek and English; I’m often called upon to sharpen my pencil and my mind. One wrong word and the whole meaning is altered, the whole feel of what is meant to come through is derailed.

Sometimes silence is the only answer.

The words we use for and about others matter. How we describe others, how we talk about them, what energy we share through verbal communication is as sharp and affecting as any weapon. One word can uplift whereas another can dismantle and destroy. How we express ourselves matters; how we speak to others matters, and how we communicate matters, because as words go, lots can be lost in translation.

Words are slippery and deceiving and like little children need guidance and boundaries to thrive and shine on and off the page. Words have weight, they sting and jab, sooth and caress. Each syllable contains an energy; and knowing how to use that energy is as valuable as any amount of currency, because words are also currency.

Even though so much of communication is non verbal; choosing the words we use carefully is of utmost importance.

Recently I had an exchange with an old lover. I was very cautious about how I wanted to respond to his communication. The right words were not appearing to me in order to carefully convey what I wanted to say in response to his contact. I mulled over it for quite some time before I realized that any words I used were a waste of time, energy, and ultimately I would never properly convey verbally what I desperately wanted to say; so I said nothing. Sometimes keeping one’s words to oneself is the wisest choice.

Words matter, words are fragile and delicate and can bend and break after they have been uttered. Words mean nothing; and they mean everything, and sometimes there aren’t enough words to describe a feeling.

So sometimes silence is the only answer.

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My Achilles Heel (Αχίλλειος Πτέρνα)

Αχίλλειος Πτέρνα (Achilles He(A)el)  — photo by Robert V. (@3rd.night)

 

Reflections of faces getting caught in dark spaces, with wounded hearts.

Secrets revealed in awkward glances and lost chances.

Pursed lips, and stolen glances.

Tired eyes staring into illuminated screens, reflecting, deflecting, rejecting

playing the part in a show that no one cares to watch.

And all I want to do is scream.

***

How do you measure my love and then tear it apart?

I created a love story and it fell short from the start.

It seems clear that my imagination got the best of me

Again.

***

I no longer can settle for three forths of a man.

I can’t stand (on) mediocrity in the face of perfection.

That no longer holds my attention

Any more.

How much of your comfort would you give up for love?

I guess you will never find out.

It’s never too late

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@dirkartnyc (Freeman’s Alley- NYC)

It’s never too late …

The writing is on the wall.

It’s never too late to stand tall after a fall, that broke your spirit, broke your heart. Tearing you apart into a million little pieces.

It’s never too late to make a new start. It’s never too late to create art out of your passion.

Your horizons are open, take a chance, take a stance.

It’s never too late to be strong even though you know it’s wrong, to endure so much pain, and remain true to you.

It’s never too late to let go.

Be.

Here

Now.

In the moment

You know it’s about those moments; Those times when you are absolutely and without a doubt; content with who you are, what you’re doing and where you need to be.

Everything else melts away and you are here, now, present.

Those moments when everyone else is in slow motion and all you hear is your breath and the quiet spaces in between.

Those moments when all the negativity, the passions the complications, the half truths, and unfinished business of life; are all irrelevant, because they are not that important after all.

The only thing that matters is now. Everything before and after, is a need to remember and a wish to know more.

We long for the past, we wish it turned out differently, lament its absence and struggle to let go. Then we plan for a future; something we know nothing about, we worry about things that haven’t happened yet and set goals for what may happen; and only thing that really matters is our daily participation in our present; that is the only guarantee.

In these moments meditation happens. We let go of our senses we let go of our expectations we let go of our need to survive and just exist. We shed our masks, our personas, our ideas of ourselves and others and connect with nature, connect with ourselves, connect with our breath and actually pay attention, to the NOW.

Those are rare moments, and they shouldn’t be.

Next time you are at that place, take a step back, take a breath and be present.

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The art of saying NO

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What if you said NO instead of YES?

We all have found ourselves there. Those countless times, saying YES, agreeing, going along with, and acquiescing to something we ultimately wanted no part in. I often wonder if I said NO to someone or something that ultimately was not good for me, what lesson would I have learned. And how much time I would have saved. I have often agreed to go along with situations, relationships, jobs, projects or ideas when ultimately I realized they were not a good fit. That realization sometimes comes at a great cost, after a lot of lost time, and energy, emotional and physical.

Saying NO is hard, very hard.  We want to agree and be agreeable, we want to make everyone happy by saying yes to any number of things that ultimately we regret partaking in. We want to be open to possibilities; Carpe Diem and all the philosophical positivity of it, but let’s be honest… Half the YES’s are most likely not worth any seizing of any day. Oh I have regrets… plenty of them. And anyone who says they don’t are not being fully honest with themselves, because let’s face it hindsight is 20/20.

Saying NO is like removing another roadblock to your path of doing exactly and whatever is best for you. 

I regret many of my YES’s of the past but hardly any of the NO’s. I realize now, quite late in life that saying NO, is incredibly freeing. You release all expectations, you gently and without remorse refuse to partake in anything that doesn’t work for you, and ultimately you save much wasted time. There is no unpleasant back and forth, no unfulfilled expectations, and in the end you save your YES for something, someone, and somewhere that truly matters.

I’ve begun this experiment of saying no thank you, not for me, not right now, not at this time and at times when necessary a hard NO. That last one is the most challenging because it usually comes after much effort and coercion on the part of the recipient to hear something different. Those have become the most satisfying, like removing another roadblock to your path of doing exactly and whatever is best for you.  Recently I’ve discovered that by saying NO more often, I’m getting much better at it and more decisive about how to use it.

The next time you feel you have to say YES, don’t and see where it takes you.

 

 

Did I miss the boat?

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The coming of spring always brings with it moments of reflection, renewal, and shedding the old proverbial skin. Spring is about replacing, restructuring and doing away with many of the things we may have buried in our winter minds.

How do we measure a happy life? How do we measure a successful one?

How do we know that we are on the right path to self realization, and our “highest self”?

There are moments that all these thoughts keep circulating in my head, after many years of practicing yoga, going to mindfulness workshops and trying to figure out what is the best path in life, and am I on it?

I’ve been thinking where I’ve been and where I’m going, what I’ve accomplished, what I set out to do and didn’t complete, what roads I have traveled that lead to places I didn’t expect to go to, and what lies ahead as I approach my 40th year on this planet.

I spoke to a friend I’ve known for almost 20 years, and as I usually do;

I asked her… “are you happy?”

Her answer of course didn’t surprise me as I’ve thought exactly the same thing.

She relented: ” I’m getting older, I am very lonely at times, my parents are getting older. I fear for their health and well being, I wonder what it is I’ve really accomplished in this life. I’ve not had a family, and do I still have time to have one? I feel like I’ve missed the boat” she said.

As we approach those ages, where the “milestones” of accomplishment are not always visible;  we are unfairly placed against a timeline of who and what we “should be”. I related with my friend’s conundrum, as I’m sure many of us do. I don’t like this feeling of getting older having not reached those “milestones”. I am weary of my parents getting older and having to take care of them in their later years. I try to “snap out of it”; I told my friend, and remind myself of the journey that has led us all here. The wonderful projects I’ve participated in as an artist, a yoga teacher, a performer and now as of late a beginner writer, often allude me when I’m at a loss for what’s next.

It’s perfectly acceptable to face our fears, our loneliness, and our realizations of “have I done anything useful with my life? We are facing an age where the expectations weigh heavy. In Greece women my age “should” have had kids by now, they “should” have settled down and figured it all out, and the wild and free and unsettled energy that women have is often quashed for a more “sensible” family oriented path. Yet there are beautiful examples to the contrary.

I don’t want to be misunderstood as some “desperate wannabe housewife”, waiting for her turn to be realized. Women now more than any other time are allowed to be whatever the hell they want, do whatever they want, and navigate their lives in their own way, and yet there is something in all of us that wonders…

Have I done enough? Who will take care of me? Is THIS all there is? Am I successful enough? Did I miss the boat? 

 

Even the most confident women I know have admitted to me, after much objection to the contrary, that these thoughts cross their minds from time to time, for what is this life without, personal accomplishment, companionship, friendship, camaraderie and a deep understanding that we can beautifully navigate this life with others beside us.

Have you met your expectations?

Did you set out goals that you didn’t manage to accomplish?

Day 27. – Paris is Burning

Post 27 of 27.

View from the Pompidu Museum- Marais

I am posting with a small delay as I was in transit between Paris and London and I wanted to take the time to write about this last day of my 27 day challenge, and what it meant to take this much needed journey.

London Bridge 
Street Art in the London Bridge neighborhood of London

This year I celebrate my 40th birthday. It’s a milestone of sorts, as I’m sure it is for all who cross that threshold. I never knew what to expect of this day, whether I would have a family by now, whether I would be living in a big house or a small cottage in a village somewhere, or what I would be doing for a living. I remember when I was 18 or 19 calculating the year I would turn 40, and it was way beyond my comprehension at the time; but now here we are. For better or worse I’ve arrived… and new challenges and paths are beckoning to be explored.

Street Art in the Les Halles neighborhood of Paris

I was speaking to my mother, who reminded me of a memory she had of me when she turned 40. We were in northern Athens, at our then home, in what you would call an “affluent” neighborhood now; but back then, it was in an area no one wanted to live at. I was riding my pink and white bicycle with its training wheels; it was 1982 or ’83 and my mum had just turned 40 that December. I clearly can picture her memory; my mother was slender, as always, with a beautiful smile and a determined gaze, short curly light brown hair and big square glasses. My father good looking and in his late 30’s, a hit of seventies sideburns still donned his face and he wore aviator glasses. A year later we would take our first trip to Paris as a family.

The magic of Paris through my 6 year old eyes, will never match any other trip I’ve taken since. I was in awe. We would visit many times after that, but that first trip was like new world had been revealed. I had never seen such beauty in my life. Glimpses of the Louvre museum before the pyramids were built, the clock of the Muse d’Orsay from up close and the smell of the Parisian air, as we walked through Montmartre and the “dangerous” artistic neighborhoods of the 18th Arrondisment.

I remember still the taste of rich chocolate and french food at a small restaurant in Place Dauphine, now probably long gone. I visit that same little park every time I go to Paris. I sit on a bench; eat a pain au chocolat, and dream of my six year old self walking up the stairs of this larger than life Brasserie with sumptuous deserts lining each step.

Today I celebrate my 40th year, in one of the most poetic, beautiful places in the world, with some of my most treasured memories, and most treasured friends. Cheers, santé, Γεια μας. Onward to this next chapter.

Where, do you remember your most fond childhood memory, and where would you travel to next?

 

Day 22. Flight

Day 22 of 27.

Caught in flight.

 

The thing about flight is that it signifies freedom and direction. It’s full of possibility and promise. Traveling, seeing the world, being connected, being reunited, is a gift that gives us many returns. Whether we are flying away from something or towards something, is a fine line.

Escape or Destination?

Exploration towards, or walking away from another. The need for travel is about the realm of possibility and change. It’s a way to escape and embrace. A way to connect to a place and disconnect from a place. A dear friend asked me when I was leaving Greece five years ago, whether I was escaping something or going towards something.

At that time in my mind I was very clear; I’m going towards my future, a better life, a dream explored. Now after five years; I am not as sure as I was then. This questioning we all have of why we choose to travel and leave the familiar behind is a constant in my thoughts. But for now I’m caught in flight, and enjoying the ride.

What do you love about travel?  And where does your heart lead you?