Sometimes I lay down and wonder what it would be like to be your wife… Fuck no. Thank the universal beings and celestial forces you are as far away from me as possible. Undoubtedly so. You did me a favor With your razor sharp wit. I must admit, I thought you were hot shit. But then the reality hit SMACK DAB in the center of your fantasy of me. You see? God is in the details they say and you’re just murky Trust me. It’s apparent. I gave you consent over my body. Not my mind. You played that one of a kind, pimp game. The lie folded into half truths and lead me to assume that you loved me. It was all above me like a noose. I get goosebumps when I think of the shit I would have done to lower myself to your level. It’s undeniable how unreliable The pussy is compared to the gut. And in you strut, like a homing device for my weakness my vice. You slice precisely like a surgeon, my heart into a cavernous hole. But then you underestimate my soul. And here I am Whole. Compete without distinction or defeat. I spit at your feet. Don’t deplete my space I have erased you from my memory. click — delete complete without distinction or defeat.
Ever present is the idea that, if we take a pill, our problems will be fixed. If we commit in the surface of going to the gym, eating right, practicing meditation or yoga, going to therapy; things will just automatically lift off our shoulders and all the issues we’ve been battling with since childhood; just disappear.
Change, betterment, transformation, improvement, and healing are long term commitments; not the short term “feel good” solutions, they are portrayed to be.
I’ve been practicing yoga and fitness for 20 plus years, and the vice that always got in the way of my practice, my life, and my relationships with others, is the need for instant gratification and instant solutions. Staying with something long enough to see change, or realizing that ephemeral enjoyment doesn’t translate into long term change, is something I learned the hard way. It is all too often that I see these patterns with my students and clients. If I give them “homework” to do most of them don’t follow through or forget to commit to their own self improvement, giving in to excuses, and short term inadequate solutions. We all do it.
Setting a goal and achieving that goal is the difference between an idea and a plan.
If you see instant anywhere in your life, coffee, food, fitness, (sorry Suzanne summers), business plans, sex, affection, repairs (yes those too); step back and think again. Taking stock of what we really want to achieve in our lives, steers us away from doing what’s easy or fast. Committing to doing what is best and maintaining that, demands a very fine balance of personal accountability and self knowledge. Giving in to our cravings, our instant joy, our sweet tooth, or social pressures to “get it done quickly” will only harm and derail us in the process of self improvement, depriving us in the end of setting any goals worthy of follow through.
Next time when things get challenging or busy or too much, take a step back and fight to finish what you started, no shortcuts or excuses. Do the 30 day challenge and actually stick to it for life.
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Joy is not a one time event, it’s a long term commitment.
Do what makes you happy. Find joy in the little things. We’ve heard this over and over again, slapped on self-help books, motivational memes, and feel good posts on social media. Everything we do, or strive for is for the sake of happiness, joy, contentment, elation; that happy PLACE. We often equate joy with major external changes, big dreams rather than what’s happening in the present moment.
For years I searched for the the big joys:
Receiving my degrees, getting my first real job, traveling to new and inspiring places, creating big art projects, taking and giving yoga retreats, throwing big parties, and the list goes on and on. All those things gave me joy, but all too often after the joy or newness was gone; I found myself seeking joy like some junkie looks for the next good fix. I tried to find it in other people, in pleasing others, in involving myself with the next fun adventure, but in the end the joy didn’t stick.
The fix wears off.
We get addicted to external joy and happiness in the same way we get addicted to the feeling of a drug induced euphoria ; we hope we really HOPE it will solve all our problems, BUT when the euphoria ends, the problems and the sense of emptiness remain.
When we are faced with the herculean task of finding and generating our own joy, the little things gain importance. The little things matter. I have been to countless coaches, healers, therapists and spirit guides, and the one thing they all have spoken about is finding your own inner joy. This however is not a quick fix scheme. It takes work, it takes effort, it takes… COMMITMENT… (yeah that one). And in the end we still don’t know if we will get the return on our investment.
With that perspective in mind; moments of joy can be treated as deposits in our own personal well being, that eventually will reflect back to us what we have given. If you are a miser with your joy, life will be a miser back. If you are stingy with the way you see the world, it will repay you with the same currency. Denying moments of personal joy because of circumstance, or financial worries, or “situations” eventually rob us from our personal quality of life. So here are my 10 + 1 list of Joy Tokens
10+1 Joy Tokens for everyday:
It’s a fine day — pick an inspiring place and go for a short walk. (It’s free)
Wake up or go to bed a half hour earlier and read something that inspires you or motivates you.
Make a small, simple meal out of maximum 3 ingredients.
The sun is out- sit in it for 10 minutes in silence, no phone or book.
Listen to your favorite song, artist, album all the way through like you would the first time
Look up!
If you have a cat or dog give love… receive love. Same goes for plants!
Spend one hour taking care of your body (stretch, exfoliate, take a long bath, paint your nails, shave, moisturize, etc.) Self care helps calm the parasympathetic nervous system and gives us a sense of calm. GUYS TOO!
Give joy to someone else — give someone (even a stranger) a compliment, give a hug, make someone laugh.
Walk barefoot in grass, sand, or in nature.
Write down what gives you joy and share this exercise with others.
Try these or your money back!
Share some joy, in these trying times we all need it, but most importantly, much like energy; joy is neither created or destroyed; it’s amplified. Feel free to share, comment and pass this post on.
If you want to go back and read part of my 27 post challenge check the posts below.
I wrote a poem to my newborn self. Something of a reflection in time and what I would say to her if she were in my arms today. Here is the English version with a Greek one to follow. I want to thank you all for following my 27 post challenge. I will continue to post interesting and provocative work in the year to come. Join me and feel free to share and comment.
Namaste
E.
If I were to gaze upon my younger self I would give her the warmest embrace. Welcome to this crazy world we live in kiddo. Pleased to meet you amazing girl with the caramel curls and those eyes so green they’re like a thousand olive trees, swishing in the wind.
If I were to whisper to my young self, I would tell her how much I love every single part of her. Nothing is flawed nothing is tainted, you’re perfect. You are worth it. Every single day.
If I were to meet my newborn self I would tell her that she has more strength in her little finger than 10 men combined. You’re a superhero. Damn girl you gonna take over the world. And then I would twirl with her in my arms till she giggled a little.
If I were to speak to my newborn self I would say to her: never doubt your heart and mind. You are one of kind. A diamond in the rough, so tough Yet soft and delicate like a spring flower. You won’t cower to the ones telling you what and how to be. No way no how. You will fight like an amazon and honor your tribe. Your tribe is your people, your friends, your lovers your mother and father. Some will betray you and lose your trust but never let your heart get tough. Be soft with those who don’t get it and don’t let it steal your compassion and passion for life. There will be strife.
People will want to hurt you because they can’t love themselves. But remember you are my star in the sky. I look at you for wisdom because you don’t let anyone break your stride. You are fiiiiine sister, don’t let anyone get outta line. I worship the ground you tread on, because you’re in my head telling me what is right and what is wrong. You don’t falter. You know damn well where you want to go. Don’t let go of your dreams sister. Don’t let go of your innocence your laughter.
No one can come after that. Like a drop of a hat. I fell for you. Those dimples they cripple me as I stare at your infinite beauty.
Beautiful girl with the caramel curls and eyes so green thy’re like a field of olive trees Swishing in the wind.
Αν θα μπορούσα να αντικρίσω τον νεογέννητο μου εαυτό. Θα με αγκάλιαζα με τόση αγάπη που θα με νιώθω ακόμα και όταν δεν είμαι εκεί Αν θα μπορούσα να ψιθυρίσω στο νεογέννητο μου εαυτό. Θα έλεγα: θα σε αγαπήσω όσο κανείς άλλος στο κόσμο. Αν θα μπορούσα να συναντήσω το νεογέννητο κορίτσι που είμαι, εγώ Θα της έδειχνα πόση δύναμη έχει στο μικρό της δαχτυλάκι Θα της έλεγα πόσο αντέχει στις δυσκολίες και στο πόνο όσο κανένας άλλος εδώ Όχι δε θα της έλεγα ψέματα. Δε θα της έλυνα όλα τα θέματα Είσαι πιό δυνατή από αυτό.
Αν θα μπορούσα να μιλήσω στο νεογέννητο μου εαυτό Θα της έλεγα…
Είσαι υπέροχη έτσι όπως είσαι Θα ξαφνιάσεις πολλούς και δεν θα μπορέσουν να σε κατανοήσουν. Μα μη πτοείσαι. Δεν είσαι για τους λιποψυχους εσύ Με τη μπούκλα τη ξανθιά θα αφήνεις ανέμελα τα μαλλιά σου να ανεμίζουν Όσο ατενίζεις ενδιαφέρουσες πόλεις και προορισμούς. Για φαντάσου! Θα ταξιδέψεις, θα ονειρευτείς θα αγαπήσεις Αλλά θα τη πατήσεις
Γιατί θα ξεχασεις πόσο μοναδική είσαι. Αλλά θα είμαι εκεί να στο ξαναθυμίσω Θα σβήσεις από μέσα σου κάθε οργή και θλίψη και Θα ξανα αγαπήσεις.
Χωρίς ποιήματα κορίτσι δεν έχει ενδιαφέρον η ζωή Πέσε με τα μούτρα στον έρωτα Πέσε με τα μούτρα στην ηδονή Διάβασε τα πάντα
Αγάπησε τους πάντες και ας μη σου δίνουν τίποτα για αντάλλαγμα Δε χρειάζεται συνάλλαγμα συναισθημάτων εσύ Εκεί….!
Δείξε υπομονή στους κόλακες και στους φτωχούς της ψυχής Δε ξέρουν από μας. Αλλά δε πειράζει.
Και ο πιό κακός αλλάζει χαρτί. Γιατί το φως είναι πιο δυνατό από το σκοτάδι.
Και θα σου έδινα ένα χάδι στο μάγουλο με τη μικρή ελίτσα στο στόμα Αυτή πού είχες από μικρή Πού κάπου αχνοφαίνεται ακόμα. Ακόμα.
Και θα με κοιτάξεις με αυτά τα υπέροχα πράσινα μάτια Και θα σε ερωτευτώ.
Με τη μπούκλα καραμέλα και τα μάτια πράσινα σα χιλιάδες δέντρα ελιάς. Μονομιάς σε αγάπησα χωρίς δεύτερη σκέψη.
How do be carve our Independence within an increasingly controlling world.
Rebels with a cause. We want to make a difference, we want to break free from the shackles of conformity, get away from normalcy and shatter the feeling of imprisonment within our own lives. Everyday we are told that Freedom is a state of mind. But it’s clear to me that being truly Independent, free, non bound takes an enormous sense of responsibility and personal effort. True Independence is a lonely and often treacherous path. We claim we are free, we are individuals, we don’t need anyone to tell us what to do with our lives, yet we increasingly depend on others, we want someone to take control and fix things, we want someone else to be responsible for our freedom. And we all know where that leads.
Fighting for Freedom, means doing things on our own without any, ANY help or assistance from others, yet in the highly connected, dependent and “who do you answer to” society we live in, Independence (with a capital I) from the powerful and the controlling has increasingly become a stigma, a stain in the “shut up and put up” mentality .
we want someone to take control and fix things, we want someone else to be responsible for our freedom. And we all know where that leads.
We all need to better understand (myself included) what weight and what importance personal responsibility, and integrity entails. It’s not a burden many choose to carry lightly. Let’s be honest when the shit hits the fan, we all want to blame someone else, and when our independence (with a small i) is giving us gifts, we stand alone on that mountain top thinking we’re kings of our own kingdom, when in reality; shaky ground builds a shaky structure. When we truly access our Freedom, we have to understand it’s gravity and importance; not only in how we see ourselves, but in how we project our Freedom on others. Screaming independence while acting occupied, has been tried all too often as a substitute for the real thing, making it a very confusing message to base our “freedom” on.
See what Independence means to you and how can you really carve a path of Freedom in the eyes of occupied minds.
Want to read previous posts? Check out the links below !
Some people, never leave their childhood home, their street or their country. There are thousands more, who blissfully spend their lives, gathering memories, living in the same neighborhood they grew up in since childhood, and never have an impulse or desire to go anywhere else. I unfortunately (or fortunately) am not one of those people. I have moved into and out of almost 20 houses and apartments, 3 countries, and two continents, ( and counting) since I was a child, and currently call New York my home. After arriving here and sleeping in and on every bed and couch I could find; I settled in (it found me) a place I could really call home. This to a person who lived out of suitcase for almost 2 years upon arriving in New York was like an oasis in a real estate desert.
I’ve made my home here, I’ve made and lost friends here and after six years I realized (again), that absolutely nothing is permanent. Much like nature sheds its winter coat and welcomes spring; newness, renewal and re- calibration happens in our lives every day whether we notice or not. There will be moments (too many to count) where what was; is no longer and the more accepting we are of that reality, the less painful transitions and changes will become.
Yet we know that impermanence is allusive. Within our understanding that nothing is forever, we still get attached, connected and dependent on the idea that what is here today will absolutely be there tomorrow. Having grown up in Greece, where impermanence is our “soup du jour”; as part of our national identity we’ve learned to deal with massive and often destructive changes in our lives, and most recently in the last 10 years. What comes to mind when grappling with the lack of permanence in my life I tend to consult sage Greek sayings.
Greeks often sum up the permanence of impermanence with this phrase: ουδέν μονιμότερον του προσωρινού (nothing is more permanent than impermanence) . I find that for the uncertainty that has become the norm, keeping a healthy understanding of Non- Attachment, while enjoying what we have in the present moment, can alleviate the idea of “forever”.
Till then enjoy what you have now and don’t take anything for granted.
How it can take a lifetime to rediscover who we really are.
For the past couple of years, a week before my birthday, I sit down with myself in a very introspective way and have a conversation; to figure out “where I’m at” and where I’d like to go. This is more commonly passed around as taking stock of the year that’s passed (in these lovely self help kind of circles). I prefer to see it in a different light. If you were to have a more literal approach, it’s like emptying out your backpack, doing some spring cleaning, and seeing what weighs you down and what you still need to take with you in the next year, and if you need the backpack at all.
I’ve transformed birthdays from being this morose realization of aesthetic and body aging, to more of a celebration; I’m glad I’m alive and healthy to have a go at whatever dreams, projects, ideas, and insane firsts I’ve not tackled yet. I’ve written a lot about aging and “getting” older recently because frankly it’s something that concerns me; and not in the way it concerns most people.
I find that each year we get to create, evolve, try something new, rediscover who we are, (if we really knew in the first place), and take risks to expand and remap our horizons.
I was never a fan of: “well that’s it I’ve done it all, time to hang the towel.”
In the days approaching my birthday I sit down and do a litmus test of my path so far and where I’m headed; while asking the hard questions of myself that many others would not dare ask. This process brings out some guideposts for: How to get to know yourself better.
Upon learning ourselves better, we then establish what we’re capable of. All too often we adopt labels, philosophies, societal constructs, norms and limitations (self imposed or otherwise), causing more confusion and far less clarity about who and what we want and who we really are. Without making a huge fuss, I write down what I want to work on and what I feel has run it’s course; be it with work, passions, relationships, projects, ideas, philosophies, and personal traditions. In the past I’ve taken up reading books like
and the list goes on and on, but at the end of the day these are just mere suggestions. We have to look within for our own wisdom and truths and not be pushed or pulled in directions that we don’t fully comprehend. Knowing something and really understanding it, has been my focus for the past few years, because a lot of the philosophies or ideals that I’ve adopted over the years either don’t serve me anymore or have become a roadblock to further self discovery.
I’ve written a lot about aging and “getting” older recently because frankly it’s something that concerns me; and not in the way it concerns most people.
Self knowledge and self study, requires patience, practice, risk and above all willpower. We have to want to know ourselves better to take the first step. Sort of like admitting you’re an addict is the first step to combating addiction. Getting stuck is part of the human condition, but what we possess is the innate ability to question, rephrase, recapture and reassess, in the ever winding journey to knowing ourselves fully and not just better.
This technique of course isn’t just for once a year. Taking the time to take stock, find a quiet space and reconnect with who we are (rather than who we want to be); will lead us much faster to letting go of who we are NOT.
It started in November 2016. I had been writing ever since I could remember but the poems started flooding my pages, after moving to New York in early 2013. I suppose it’s true what they say, suffering and pain makes for great material for poetry. I have been working on some new material recently, some of it very raw some of it more groomed and precise, and all of it deeply personal. I’m inspired by poetry that comes from a troubled mind and heart. I’m enthralled by poetry that dives into the deeply profound, erotic and painful of life. I love irony. I’ts the perfect glue to the mundane and the banal. So here are some of my recent explorations in verse:
#2 Pencil on a train to Queens:
Hustlers and peddlers of goods. Bull shit artists with a flair for the delicately. Profane… Masters of the insane.
But you got nothing to show. I know I’m a good girl But this is systemic fraudulence and in poor taste. Make haste.
Life is not waiting around for you to decide what’s right. You have to ride the train like the rest of us fools. we have the tools to do greater than scoff at injustice just because it makes a funny meme. we’ve lost touch with reality it seems. How real does the pain get? Let’s take a bet.
Your life and your pain remain a stain an awful memory an broken legacy People screaming, oh you’re too PC. What does it take for me to care? Nothing.
Calling basic humanity a certain insanity is what’s plagued us all our lives. And yet Basic humanity is a rarity in these troubled times. Besides The tides come and go our mere existence is erased by the distance of time. No wonder your love is anemic. Your abuse systemic Your lies complete.
I drink my whiskey neat. No ice There is no time for diluted flavors. Do me a favor and pass the lime. It’s almost time.
The End Game
Sometimes I lay down and wonder what it would be like to be your wife... Fuck no. I’m thinking thank the universal beings and celestial forces you are as far away from me as possible. Undoubtedly so. You did me a favor With your razor sharp wit. I must admit, I thought you were hot shit. But then the reality hit SMACK DAB in the center of your fantasy of me. You see? God is in the details they say and you’re just murky Trust me. It’s apparent. I gave you consent over my body, not my mind. You played that one of a kind pimp game. The lie folded into half truths and lead me to assume that you loved me. It was all above me like a noose. I get goosebumps. I think of the shit I would have done to lower myself to your level It’s undeniable how unreliable The pussy is compared to the gut. And in you strut, like a homing device for my weakness my vice. You slice with precision like a surgeon my heart is a cavernous hole. But then you underestimate my soul. And here I am Whole. Compete without distinction or defeat. I spit at your feet. Don’t deplete my space I have erased you from my memory. click — delete complete without distinction or defeat.
Celebrating world Poetry Day with words that inspire and words of desire.
Poetry for me has always been about addressing and expressing the deepest confines of the soul. I write a lot, but when poems form in my mind, it’s like someone else is speaking the words to me and my hand serves as a conduit.
I often go back and edit but for the most part the poems stand as they are untouched and delivered as they first came to me. Playing with words and playing with meaning has always been a mental exercise for me ever since I could learn how to write. I can’t however call myself a poet. That title is still reserved for the greats and I’m sure in 10-15 years I can possibly aspire to adopt that title. Till then here are two poems (one mine – one not) that continue to inspire me as I continue to write and dive deeper into the art of poetry.
Athens, 1984
Εκτροχιασμός- Σημείο Αναφοράς
Τι κάνεις;;
Είμαι καλά. Καθαρός ουρανός αστραπές δε φοβάται.
Κοιμάσαι;;
Πήρα να σου πω, ποσό νοσταλγώ την αίσθηση ελευθερίας που είχα όταν ήμουν εδώ.
ΕΚΕΙ ήθελα να πω.
Μη παρεξηγηθείς δε σου τη πέφτω.
Ξεκόλλα.
Πάω να τη πέσω.
Έστω, ν’ακούσω τη φωνή σου.
Ντύσου! Πρέπει να φύγεις δε γίνεται να μείνεις εδώ!
Θα σε βρω εγώ.
Μη πεις τίποτα σε κανέναν, ακούς!;
Ακούς;
Μ’ακούς;;
Και σηκώνω το βλέμμα μου από τη σελίδα,
στο καλύτερο μ’έκοψες πάλι.
Παραζάλη με πιάνει κάθε φορά που με κοιτάς κατάματα.
Below is a poem from one of my favorite Greek poets and who I’m re-reading as of late: — Τάσος Λειβαδίτης – Unfortunately I’ve not found a good enough translation into English, so I took a stab at it myself: (English translation of first verse)
Αν θέλεις να λέγεσαι άνθρωπος
Αν θέλεις να λέγεσαι άνθρωπος δεν θα πάψεις ούτε στιγμή ν΄αγωνίζεσαι για την ειρήνη και για το δίκαιο. Θα βγείς στους δρόμους, θα φωνάξεις, τα χείλια σου θα ματώσουν απ΄τις φωνές το πρόσωπό σου θα ματώσει από τις σφαίρες – μα ούτε βήμα πίσω. Κάθε κραυγή σου μια πετριά στα τζάμια των πολεμοκάπηλων Κάθε χειρονομία σου σα να γκρεμίζει την αδικία. Και πρόσεξε: μη ξεχαστείς ούτε στιγμή. Έτσι λίγο να θυμηθείς τα παιδικά σου χρόνια αφήνεις χιλιάδες παιδιά να κομματιάζονται την ώρα που παίζουν ανύποπτα στις πολιτείες μια στιγμή αν κοιτάξεις το ηλιοβασίλεμα αύριο οι άνθρωποι θα χάνουνται στη νύχτα του πολέμου έτσι και σταματήσεις μια στιγμή να ονειρευτείς εκατομμύρια ανθρώπινα όνειρα θα γίνουν στάχτη κάτω από τις οβίδες. Δεν έχεις καιρό δεν έχεις καιρό για τον εαυτό σου αν θέλεις να λέγεσαι άνθρωπος.
English Translation:
If you want to be called human
You will not cease even for a second to fight for peace and justice.
You will turn to the streets, you will scream, your lips will
bleed from screaming
Your face will bleed from the bullets- but not a step back
Every scream is a rock to the glass of the war mongers
Every hand gesture will destroy injustice
And be cautious: don’t ever forget.
And as you slightly recall your childhood
You leave thousands of children to be butchered while they blithely play in the
Streets
Just for second you look at the sunset
Tomorrow men will be lost in the darkness of war
If you stop even for a second to dream
Millions of human dreams will turn to dust under bombshells
You don’t have time
You don’t have time for yourself
If you want to be called human.
Αν θέλεις να λέγεσαι άνθρωπος μπορεί να χρειαστεί ν΄αφήσεις τη μάνα σου, την αγαπημένη ή το παιδί σου. Δε θα διστάσεις. Θ΄απαρνηθείς τη λάμπα σου και το ψωμί σου Θ΄απαρνηθείς τη βραδινή ξεκούραση στο σπιτικό κατώφλι για τον τραχύ δρόμο που πάει στο αύριο. Μπροστά σε τίποτα δε θα δειλιάσεις κι ούτε θα φοβηθείς. Το ξέρω, είναι όμορφο ν΄ακούς μια φυσαρμόνικα το βράδυ, να κοιτάς έν΄ άστρο, να ονειρεύεσαι είναι όμορφο σκυμένος πάνω απ΄το κόκκινο στόμα της αγάπης σου Να την ακούς να σου λέει τα όνειρα της για το μέλλον. Μα εσύ πρέπει να τ΄αποχαιρετήσεις όλ΄αυτά και να ξεκινήσεις γιατί εσύ είσαι υπεύθυνος για όλες τις φυσαρμόνικες του κόσμου, για όλα τ΄άστρα, για όλες τις λάμπες και για όλα τα όνειρα αν θέλεις να λέγεσαι άνθρωπος.
Αν θέλεις να λέγεσαι άνθρωπος μπορεί να χρειαστεί να σε κλείσουν φυλακή για είκοσι ή και περισσότερα χρόνια μα εσύ και μες στη φυλακή θα θυμάσαι πάντοτε την άνοιξη, τη μάνα σου και τον κόσμο. Εσύ και μες απ΄ το τετραγωνικό μέτρο του κελλιού σου θα συνεχίσεις τον δρόμο σου πάνω στη γη . Κι΄ όταν μες στην απέραντη σιωπή, τη νύχτα θα χτυπάς τον τοίχο του κελλιού σου με το δάχτυλο απ΄τ΄άλλο μέρος του τοίχου θα σου απαντάει η Ισπανία. Εσύ, κι ας βλέπεις να περνάν τα χρόνια σου και ν΄ ασπρίζουν τα μαλλιά σου δε θα γερνάς. Εσύ και μες στη φυλακή κάθε πρωί θα ξημερώνεσαι πιο νέος Αφού όλο και νέοι αγώνες θ΄ αρχίζουνε στον κόσμο αν θέλεις να λέγεσαι άνθρωπος
Αν θέλεις να λέγεσαι άνθρωπος θα πρέπει να μπορείς να πεθάνεις ένα οποιοδήποτε πρωινό. Αποβραδίς στην απομόνωση θα γράψεις ένα μεγάλο τρυφερό γράμμα στη μάνα σου Θα γράψεις στον τοίχο την ημερομηνία, τ΄αρχικά του ονόματος σου και μια λέξη : Ειρήνη σα ναγραφες όλη την ιστορία της ζωής σου. Να μπορείς να πεθάνεις ένα οποιοδήποτε πρωινό να μπορείς να σταθείς μπροστά στα έξη ντουφέκια σα να στεκόσουνα μπροστά σ΄ολάκαιρο το μέλλον. Να μπορείς, απάνω απ΄την ομοβροντία που σε σκοτώνει εσύ ν΄ακούς τα εκατομμύρια των απλών ανθρώπων που τραγουδώντας πολεμάνε για την ειρήνη. Αν θέλεις να λέγεσαι άνθρωπος.
One thing I’ve realized as I get older and more secure in who I am is; Finding my identity is a journey that cannot be rushed. I’ve changed, transformed and evolved over the years, and I’m sure this vessel that’s carrying this woman I was, and will become has more transformations in store. We are not monolithic, and should not be made to believe that we have to adhere to labels, stories and caricatures of who we are. Uniqueness is not a weakness.
I never saw myself as particularly pretty growing up. Ever wanting to blend in instead of standing out (a losing battle); it took me a very long time to embrace this quirky, person that wanted to come out. Much like many of the people I’ve met who genuinely struggle fit the mold; I was very badly bullied in grade school and middle school in Greece. I felt lesser, I felt ugly I felt stupid and I recycled these images of myself as someone who had absolutely nothing to offer. This is not uncommon among young teens all over the world. We all have heard the stories. Young boys and girls who were locked in this cycle of pleasing others, seeming normal and not ever discovering their true identity until in some cases it’s too late.
I’m not a “normal woman, and in reality who is?
One of the things I tell people struggling to find their voice (as I did for years), is that whatever is considered strange or not normal about them makes them incredibly unique. Not in the “we’re all special” type of unique, but in: being able to reflect our own personal perspective on the vastness of conformity, normalizing and image making that surrounds us.
We’re all bombarded by lifestyles, examples of what’s pretty, what’s attractive, whats beautiful, what’s manly, what’s feminine and what’s acceptable behavior and ultimately what passes for “normal”. This rings even more loudly for women, who have been constantly told who, what, in what way and how often they should exist. Hiding behind titles of description was never my strong suit.
We are not monolithic, and should not be made to believe that we have to adhere to labels, stories and caricatures of who we are. Uniqueness is not a weakness.
Existing, defining, redefining and allowing ourselves to be who we are is not and will not be dictated by anyone else. Sure we all may need guideposts, ideas, and inspiration but the allowance of personal identity CANNOT be scripted by anyone else but US.
So GO ahead.
Show us who you really are.
stock photograph: Lady Gaga Inspired!
Featured Image ( on the heading) taken by: Robert Valenzuela, who is a gifted photographer, war veteran and all around crazy guy. Please give him a follow on Instagram : @the3rdrealm
If you want to make a difference; I recently came across the Born This Way Foundation and will be donating on the day of the last post of the series (March, 27Th). If you care to join me; log on, donate and make a difference to young people struggling to find their way.
Eleana Kouneli 